Life After Divorce

Life after divorce: Men almost always get ripped off, stripped of almost all they own.

Yesterday I came across this photo from about three years ago, and roughly right after the divorce. Looking at this photo had me thinking about the costs of marriage and divorce. Some of those costs are directly my fault for making dumb decisions such as leaving my (physical home) in Michigan. It was a wonderful home. I certainly was not completely responsible for the divorce though, her and I discussed many things after the divorce via the phone. I’ve not heard from her in almost one year now which I am completely OK with.

So what are the costs? I don’t know which is worse, the mental/emotional strain or the loss of a great deal of money which included a $40,000 car. Or is it the $24,000 in Alimony I was forced to pay for two years as Nevada is an Alimony state, Michigan, my home state is NOT an Alimony state. Lovely. My mother and her got along famously, my father never liked her and made no secret about it. In the end though, he was correct. I was being taken for a very expensive ride and didn’t see it for what it was. These days, I am scared to death about the possibility of meeting women and simply refrain from it all together.

I am simply too damaged after three divorces…

Going forward, I have zero plans of finding myself in another relationship. It’s just not worth it man. Taking stock yesterday of where I am today, I am incredibly blessed to have a house again and in a city that I really love, sans the damned traffic. My finances have improved greatly and so has my overall attitude and perception for the future. In short, as compared to then, I am probably the luckiest, most blessed and happiest man in Las Vegas. The future is clear. I have a ‘clean slate’ to begin again. It’s just unfortunate that I’ve arrived at this happy place at this point in life but hey, life goes on! My wonderful single life!

18 thoughts on “Life After Divorce

  1. I was pretty stung by my divorce, but I hired and paid a good lawyer to protect my parental rights which was my main concern. That was worth every Ben Franklin. My kids are 15 and 18 now and I have been there with them the entire time, which was my goal.

    I have to admit, the whole experience put me off marriage because of events that I really don’t want to disclose in public like this. Drop me a private message if you like.

    A couple of lawyers and a family court judge deciding how you are going to live your life for the next 10 years is not fun, but I am the idiot who got married in the first place, so….

    The process did change my outlook toward women. I am no longer concerned that a woman will cheat on me. I know that it is possible, but I just don’t worry about it; and this is nice. Maybe it is no longer that important to me or perhaps my expectations about life have changed.

    I will say that I am NEVER chopping my retirement account again. And that is that.

    • Jason, I feel your pain sir. You too have been stung by the unjust judges who are too often not qualified for the position in my view. It’s ludicrous that men are made to bend over while handing almost everything they own to an ex wife. No human is qualified to be a judge, period. Only God can do so. I’ve been through a custody case decades ago that scorched my brain. No more marriage. I’ve zero interest in dating whatsoever after three years.

      • Being single can kind of help you learn to be happy with yourself and enjoying some solitude not dependent on anyone else’s needs.

        When I got to really thinking about it and living with it, I found that being dad was the important thing and I got that, so I still came out good. I got to do things with my kids and didn’t have to worry about what mom wanted. That was nice.

        We are under a lot of social pressure to pair off and I think it’s OK if we don’t.

        • Jason, I so enjoy the solitude and peace. I’ve said for years that you’ve got to be OK by yourself before even considering having a partner. I’m fine being alone today. My neighbours may wonder why this guy moved into the house by himself! Oh well. I feel zero pressure to pair off, why screw up a good life?

  2. It is not always the women that get screwed, especially mentally, and not all women want it all, in the end. I gave my last husband almost everything in our Annulment just to get him to leave. It sucked.
    I hear you about the house regret with where I am now.

    • This shit rolls both ways as I’ve noticed over the years, but by and large it’s the man who is forced to hand almost everything over to the woman and that’s incredibly wrong. Such a hot topic but from my perspective, the men in this country are owed an awful lot back, and deserve judges who actually have a brain. 😡

      • I hear you. But I also think back to my Dad when I was 7. He just packed up and left his wife and 4 children for some slut, divorced her, and married someone else and moved a long way away and never came back. There are some men out there that give the rest of us a bad name.

  3. Life goes on dear John, be happy, be happy. I loved your new home and design, Blessing and Happiness, Love, nia

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