Living Alone

Watching TV last night I came across the program called Life Below Zero again which I’ve been watching since it began some years ago. Sue Aikens said something that grabbed my ear as I feel the same. She said:

“If there weren’t the explorers in the world, it would still be flat. There has always been those of us who call ourselves from the herd and march to a different tune. Being creative to me is a good thing, but the extreme isolation is just something that works for me, I know it doesn’t work for everyone but it works for me and is my happy place.”

So what do I mean? I have lived alone a significant portion of my life both by choice as is the case today, and in years past due to divorce which is also the case today if you follow me. I’ve made a very conscious decision to never remarry. I am not marriage material because I always feel so trapped when that ring is on my finger. This is my happy place.

13 thoughts on “Living Alone

  1. I know some who married but they all are now divorced. Some of them tried a second time, but they’re now divorced again. So…

    Nope. I’m fine.

    Sadly, I started to think the same about kids. I always wanted kids and somehow, I still would like to have kids. But not at the price all male people I know, have to pay. It seems, at least in my generation, there is this trend that women want kids and if they have them, they say “Thanks! Bye!” to the father of the kid, who then has to pay for them and at the same time, don’t have the same rights as the mother.

    Nope. I’m fine.

    If a woman can make me trust her, she’s probably a magician.

    • Wow. I so feel your pain and anger. I must completely agree with you Dennis. that’s basically what happened with #2.

      I feel so damaged that any relationship with a gal isn’t possible anymore. It’s not fair to unload that bitterness on a different woman either.

      And men are ALMOST ALWAYS made to pay child support while the mother gets the paycheck. Our system in this regard is so wrong that it’s just ludicrous. I’m angry.

      • I can understand that. I sometimes still met women but I am definitely looking for those who don’t want a relationship either. And if that is not completely clear from the beginning, I make it very clear at the beginning because I don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. I just make clear that I am relationship-phobic as I don’t trust anyone in this regard and that I am a pretty happy person as a single. Ironically, I met women who have the same kind of thinking, because they had bad experiences as well. I don’t rule out that a future flirt might change my mind/heart but the chance is pretty small. So far, it hasn’t happened anymore and I like that because it’s the safest path. It’s not that I am unhappy. And experiences like when I saw my uncle who was a good earner with his own company, with a happy wife who turned unhappy, once he got terminal ill with a brain tumor diagnosis and broke up with him in the mids of all his issues and before he died… that was the final impression I needed to find out for myself if I need to be in a relationship or not.

        I do agree, when it’s about kids, the system in this regard is pretty unfair. And I also don’t like what our society turned into. A society of people who want quick experiences and change their minds on the fly…Marry a person and make kids, and noping out of the situation a half-year after the kid was born. Noping out because of a short period of financial trouble, noping out because you got ill… who needs such an alliance that breaks as soon as something is going wrong? Tons of examples, even unrelated ones… like purchasing a pet before Christmas, and selling it after Christmas like an object. It’s as if some people make decisions without thinking. I don’t like that YOLO attitude.

  2. It took me and Frank 12 1/2 years together before we got married again. Lived together for 8 years. We still have separate financials and it works. We like each other and like being outside with nature. If you can find your soulmate, it’s worth it. Since we were both each other’s second marriage, we were in no hurry. 15 happy years together. 😊 Not bragging…it just works out sometimes. If I had met him in the 80’s, we might not have made it. 🤔

  3. Man, you’re speakin’ to the choir. My second brother was divorced … twice. My sister never married, and only our older brother has successfully managed that minefield.

    • It’s a damn mine field alright! The relief I felt when picking up the divorce papers from my attorney office was wonderful. Freedom!

  4. I think it’s great that you know what makes and keeps you happy. However, I also think some of us..not you, obviously…were not meant to be alone.

    • Thanks, I appreciate your kind words. It just works! At times it’s difficult but it’s also easy to speak with my family back east and north with the technology. I spoke for a while on Zoom yesterday with my daughter and her husband. I’m on an aircraft for home as soon as it’s possible!

  5. That describes me, well, except for the divorces … I never married. My grandma, on her 65th wedding anniversary, leaned over and whispered in my ear, “Never get married”.

    And then, I remember (as a youngster) watching an old Three Stooges short where the trio were census takers, and one of the questions they asked was, “Are you married, or happy?”

    I’ve always craved, and thrived on solitude. The social scene never appealed to me. The partying, drinking, empty conversation — it all seemed a diversion for people who weren’t comfortable in their own skin.

    • You are so fortunate to have never married! It’s been a really bad road, too costly in terms of money of course but also in emotional terms. Never again.

      This chosen lifestyle works so well for me. I did a little research a few days ago on the solo life, it seems that more and more people in this country are choosing the solo life for a variety of reasons which I think is wonderful.

      Marriage isn’t what it’s made out or up to be. If I recall correctly, about 50 to 53 percent of marriages end in divorce today. If that is true, then the idea of marriage is no more than a very bad idea for many. I haven’t enjoyed crowds or pubs in a very long time.

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